The Awakening

The Negative Way

   I finally made it to the top. 

   but the top turned out to be a dead zone

   I succeeded in the game of control

   only to discover the specter of my own dependency

   I stepped joyously onto the world stage

   only to learn it’s a very small place

   I owned many costly and beautiful things

   only to discover that they weighed me down

  I socialized with drink in hand

   only to end up feeling lonely in the crowd.   

I awakened from this mindless direction of my life

shocked into awareness by its ego-driven passions

and was forced to confront the stark reality of my folly

I sought a new direction by way of a spiritual path

but as I took my first steps in this direction

I ended up just as foolish as before, thinking 

“If I send out good, I’ll get good back.”

I eventually learned that the spiritual journey

is not a game of boomerangs, wondering where

I am, or clinging to things and people as ways

of filling up my emptiness – because emptiness

itself is the heart of the journey.